Seduction, Sex and Intimacy

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Physical affection and sex are where the rubber meets the road in romance.  Make a misstep and you may lose your chance for “happy ever after”, but if you get it right…


Do you want to know some valuable keys to unlocking the door to love (and ooh-la-la)?


There’s lots to consider and you have to be prepared.  


How soon to show casual affection, hold hands, first base, second base, third base, will they like this,  do I need that?  Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!  The questions (and opportunities to take a “mis-step”) can seem overwhelming so how do you get it right?


Well, all of us come to dating and relationships with different expectations about physical intimacy and these differences can get in the way of what could otherwise be a wonderful relationship.  So, the key is to understand each other and overcome our differences.  


Trust is the key.  Lasting love rarely comes from drunken hook-ups.  You don’t have to wait forever but relationships that last usually wait to introduce physical intimacy (and especially intercourse) until after some kind of trust and bond has been established between the partners. 


Depending upon your lover’s past experiences, beliefs and values this trust could take a very short amount of time or a very long amount of time to develop.  


Frustration will inevitably kick in when one partner is feeling that trust before the other which is why its important to focus on the giving and understanding aspects of love and keep working to earn their trust.   


Engendering trust requires emotional fitness and maturity.  The more you understand yourself, human nature and the “rules” of relationship the easier time you’ll have getting your partner to trust you and, for that matter, feel trusting yourself.  Breakups can result when:

  1. One partner wants to go much slower than the other and frustration sets in
  2. One partner “goes along” with physical intimacy before they feel ready and grow resentful


Seduce: (v) “to powerfully attract” (at least according to the dictionary).  Yet, many people have a negative association to the word.  Seduction has gotten a bad rap but it is really nothing more than the art of making someone feel both comfortable and excited, and naturally that’s naturally built on trust.  

Some people use seduction selfishly and recklessly but that’s like using a chainsaw to make a delicate carving: wrong use of the tool.  But if you need to prune a big tree then a chainsaw is appropriate.


The secret to keeping the sizzle, then, is to use the right tool (namely seduction).


And the secret to mastering seduction to have the kind of attraction and physical connection that makes a relationship sizzle is Polarity, which is a fancy word for talking about opposites.  In this case we’re talking about polarity between the masculine and feminine. 


My private coaching clients say the training in Polarity and seduction really helped their love lives explode, click here for a free session.  


Because this is so important let me share a little more to get you started.


The First Law of Polarity states that the ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ (not necessarily the same as ‘male’ and ‘female’) are attracted to different things, so your first step is to be clear if you’re ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ and if you’re interested in a partner who’s more ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.


The Second Law of Polarity states that the degree of ‘heat’ will be proportional to the difference between the partners.  That is, there will be greater attraction and passion between a partner who is more masculine and one who is more feminine than between two partners who are more similar in nature to each other.


That makes sense, right?  I’m sure you’ve seen this played out over and over in movies, books, and real life.  After all, weren’t the male athletes and female cheerleaders in your school in the habit of being all over each other in the cafeteria (and hallways, and parties, and seemingly everywhere you looked)?


Masculine characteristics include strength, activity, achievement and protection.


Feminine characteristics include playfulness, freedom, support and nurturing.


Align your inner and outer selves and act in a way that’s appropriate to your polarity to achieve powerful seduction.  


Here’s an exercise: practice at home and really experience what it feels like to ‘be’ that way, how your posture might change, how your body moves, how your voice sounds, even your face and eyes.  Do that enough and it will become effortless and natural for you and, when you take that out to the world (or your current partner) you’ll be effortlessly seductive.


Try it out, have fun and enjoy the sizzle!




Category: Dating

About the Author ()

Guy Ardito is an in-demand coach, trainer and founder of Relate U., an initiative dedicated to creating a better world through extraordinary relationships. Guy helps his clients overcome even the most complex challenges with humor and creativity, skills honed with decades of experience solving relationship problems in both corporate and personal arenas. As a certified Master Coach, Strategic Interventionist and Relationship and Marriage Educator, Guy has helped singles and couples resolve conflicts, reignite passions, and experience the love they’ve always wanted. He’s proud to live in New York with his extraordinary wife and their beautiful son.

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